{"id":397,"date":"2012-07-29T21:31:04","date_gmt":"2012-07-30T01:31:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yoshee08.com\/blog\/?p=397"},"modified":"2012-07-29T21:31:04","modified_gmt":"2012-07-30T01:31:04","slug":"thoughts-on-tisha-bav","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/jewish\/thoughts-on-tisha-bav\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts on Tisha B’Av"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I hope you will forgive me if this post is not so into homeschooling like I would usually write.<\/p>\n

I don’t do well with fasts usually, I think the big reason is because I have children and I have to move around.\u00a0 My boys are, B”H, all getting bigger, and I was able to rest in bed most of the morning. With some migraine medicine I am still very functional, slow, but functional and for that I’m very thankful.<\/p>\n

As I am typing, I have approximately 1.5 hours left of the fast.\u00a0 Yesterday I went to a little learning group and as we were leaving, we were discussing that really is not that we should all have easy fasts (though we hope we all do,) it is that we should all have a purposeful fast.\u00a0 All day today I tried to figure out how to have a purposeful fast.\u00a0 What is the meaning of today, the saddest day in the Jewish calendar?\u00a0 Of course there are the physical things we do such as not eating or drinking for 25 hours, sitting on low stools for half the day, not wearing leather and not anointing ourselves, but these are only for the outside, the physical body, what about the spiritual part of our body, our souls?\u00a0 What are we suppose to do for that?<\/p>\n

So, the big question is – what happened to cause this day to be such a sad day?\u00a0 We know that there have been so many calamities that happened on this day – both the first and second Bait Hamikdash were destroyed, the expulsion of the Jews from England in 1290, the Inquisition of Spain in 1492, World War I was declared, and many others (see Ohr Samayah<\/a>).\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Why on this particular day?<\/p>\n

We know over 2000 years ago, Hashem had just taken us out of Egypt with 10 amazing plagues, He split the sea for us to cross, gave us heavenly food to eat and we had just received the Torah.\u00a0 We were poised and ready to enter the promised land, the land flowing with milk and honey.\u00a0 But even after all of this, we were not sure.\u00a0 Was it really a land flowing with milk and honey?\u00a0 Could we REALLY believe Hashem?\u00a0 Huh?\u00a0 After all that we still doubted Hashem?\u00a0 It is true.\u00a0 We wanted to send spies to the promised land to verify what Hashem really said was true.\u00a0 Hashem let us.\u00a0 Twelve spies were sent to scope the land and then come and relate a report to the rest of us.\u00a0 Then, a terrible thing happened. Ten of the spies told a negative report.\u00a0 They spoke lashon hara.\u00a0 Not only that, we believed the lashon hara and we spend the entire night crying.\u00a0 Crying for nothing.<\/p>\n

Hashem then told us that since we cried for nothing that night, the night of Tisha B’Av, that would be a day where we would cry for something.\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 Hashem was being so cruel you may say.\u00a0 Just because we cried, Hashem made this day to be full of terrible calamity for us.\u00a0 Isn’t Hashem suppose to be loving and kind and caring?\u00a0 This does not sound like a loving and kind and caring Hashem!<\/p>\n

Let us take a look at the report that the spies brought back.\u00a0 Yes, they said the land was indeed flowing with milk and honey and the huge fruits they brought back showed that.\u00a0 However, there were also giants that lived in the land.\u00a0 The spies said “\u05d1\u05b0\u05e2\u05b5\u05d9\u05e0\u05b5\u05d9\u05e0\u05d5\u05bc \u05db\u05b7\u05bc\u05d7\u05b2\u05d2\u05b8\u05d1\u05b4\u05d9\u05dd \u05d5\u05b0\u05db\u05b5\u05df \u05d4\u05b8\u05d9\u05b4\u05d9\u05e0\u05d5\u05bc \u05d1\u05b0\u05bc\u05e2\u05b5\u05d9\u05e0\u05b5\u05d9\u05d4\u05b6\u05dd”<\/strong> (Bamidbar\/Number 23:33) – “…In our eyes, we seemed like grasshoppers, and so we were in their eyes.”\u00a0 Meaning, we FELT like grasshoppers so they must have thought we were.\u00a0 The giants never said they thought we were, but we thought so, therefore we must be. \u00a0Grasshoppers cannot defeat giants.\u00a0 We gave up before we even tried!<\/p>\n

Who are we to say what we are capable or not capable of\u00a0achieving\u00a0without even trying?\u00a0 We did not believe Hashem – the All Knowing, the One who created each one of us, the One who knows better than we what we are capable of, the One who performed all those miracles – and instead, we believed the lashon hara spoken.\u00a0 It turns out it was a punishment that we brought upon ourselves.\u00a0 It was us who turned this day into a day of mourning.<\/p>\n

My older boys have been kvetching about each other all week.\u00a0 Someone is always seemingly hurting another, and it is obviously always on purpose.\u00a0 Obviously… to them, but not to me.\u00a0 I finally sat them down and told them (again) the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza.\u00a0 In short, a wealthy man had a friend, Kamtza, and an enemy, Bar Kamtza.\u00a0 This man threw a party and the servant accidentally invited Bar Kamtza.\u00a0 Bar Kamtza thought this man wanted to make up with him and went to the party, only to find out that it was all a mistake and the host was upset his enemy showed up.\u00a0 After repeated attempts by Bar Kamtza to pay for part, half and then all of the party just so he would not feel embarrassed about being thrown out, his pleas were refused.\u00a0 Not a single rabbi or guest at the party said anything to help alleviate the anger and tension between the two men.\u00a0 In the end, Bar Kamtza set up a trick to get the Caesar upset with the Jews.\u00a0 Not only did the Caesar get upset, but he destroyed the Bais Hamikdash. (See a more complete story here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

We sat and talked about what that all means – to have strife amongst people, to always feel that people are out to get you.\u00a0 What does that kind of thinking bring you?\u00a0 The destruction of the Bais Hamikdash.\u00a0 When we have strife with others, we are thinking only of ourselves and not anyone else.\u00a0 We talked about how lucky they were to be able to become close friends with each other.\u00a0 Most siblings are friends with peers, but not their siblings.\u00a0 Friends will come and go, but siblings will always be there, no matter where everyone lives.\u00a0 Baruch Hashem, my sister and I are very close, however, that only happened after we were both married. My boys have the opportunity to create an even greater bond by starting out loving each other now. \u00a0If I hand someone a stick, they will be able to break it very easily, however, if I give them 20 sticks in a bundle, they will most likely not be able to break it.\u00a0 The same goes for brothers and sisters who are close and care for each other. \u00a0When we are all united, we cannot be broken.<\/p>\n

Okay, so they understand that they need to love each other and help each other, but what really does that mean?\u00a0 That means they need to start giving each other the benefit of the doubt.\u00a0 Instead of coming to me crying every time someone touches them so that they can tell me what the other person did and get that person into trouble, it means they need to believe that people are not out to get them.\u00a0 When someone touches them, or hurts them, they need to believe that person did not purposely mean to hurt them.\u00a0 Perhaps the person did not know they were there, perhaps the person was just wanting to get their attention and did not realized what they did hurt.\u00a0 It also could be that you got them angry and they reacted.<\/p>\n

Whatever the case is, if we can have a more positive outlook at everyone – giving them the benefit of the doubt, that will prevent strife and help create love for others.\u00a0 When we have love for each other we are united and hard to break – just like the bundle of sticks. \u00a0As this fast is coming to a close (just a couple more minutes over here – and yes, it has taken me that long to write and cuddle kids, and send them to bed!) let us take a few moments and reflect on our lives. \u00a0How is it that *I* can create less strife? \u00a0Who am I angry with and how can I resolve the conflict? \u00a0Are they really out to get me, or am I taking things out of context? \u00a0Should I be giving anyone the benefit of the doubt? \u00a0How can I create more ahavas yisroel (literally: love of Israel – more love for each Jew)?<\/p>\n

When we are united we are no longer thinking just about ourselves, we are watching out for the entire Jewish nation. \u00a0We are also more careful to not speak lashon hara. \u00a0It is up to each one of us. \u00a0You may be thinking this is a hard and unimaginable task, however, remember not to quit before you try. \u00a0We *CAN* do it, we just have to try. \u00a0Let us not cry for no reason any more. \u00a0Let us trust in Hashem that we really can. \u00a0It is at this time Hashem will bring Moshiach, the third and final Bais Hamikdash and the final redemption, speedily in our days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I hope you will forgive me if this post is not so into homeschooling like I would usually write. I don’t do well with fasts usually, I think the big reason is because I have children and I have to move around.\u00a0 My boys are, B”H, all getting bigger, and I was able to rest … Continue reading “Thoughts on Tisha B’Av”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":412,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[7,8,14],"tags":[51,185,276,296,514],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/bais_hamikdash_logo5.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9ErqW-6p","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atorahlife.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}