Homeschool – Page 8 – Jewish and Homeschooling in an Amazing World

Happy Birthday Times 2!

I was informed by WordPress that sometime last week was my first blogging birthday. Hard to imagine it has been that long! Also, I would like to wish my Tu B’Shevat Birthday boy a wonderful 2 birthdays as well – Shabbos was his Hebrew birthday and today is his English birthday.

At 4:40pm this afternoon Daddy emailed me and asked me if I was there to pick him up from work. I had tried to email him about an hour before, but I had three boys using three computers to do math (all in one room,) and my phone was in the bedroom with the boy who was napping, so I had to use my Kindle to try to email. It is hard to type emails on the Kindle, and I did not send the email to the right address and so he never got it. I apologized and I went to get him. He wanted me to drop him off at the JCC, which we just joined, so he could exercise and study. I was having one of those afternoons. All three boys doing math had tantrums all at the same time which lasted for the entire math period which ended up lasting almost 2 hours, I still had to go shopping, had not done laundry and my kitchen was a disaster. I was wiped. I was fine at 3pm, but almost 2 hours later it felt like midnight! It is amazing how tantrums drain you. My boys are tired. Ever have one of those days?

Supper? BARUCH HASHEM! That is all I can say. Chicken and extras that were in the cholent pot were still there and it was still nice and hot. Yes, my boys will eat cholent from Shabbos during the week (they really have not choice. 😉 ) It was more of a stew oppose to a cholent so it helped. Yes, the most important thing was done. Baruch Hashem! The worst thing is having 5 boys with empty tummies – tantrums from math, well just times it by 2 or 3 with no food!

I had the opportunity to go hear Charlie Harary speak last night. He is a wonderful comedian and some of his videos can be found on Aish.com. His main point of the talk was how to tap into our inner greatness. If we go through life and just sail on through it, then we will not tap into this greatness. We access our inner greatness – our potential – when we are faced with challenge. When we work at something and we think we just cannot go on, it is at that moment that we need to push forward. The moment we push forward we access our inner greatness. It does not matter if we “succeed,” what matters is that we tried our hardest even when things looked grim. When we have tapped into this inner greatness, we can go to bed at night happy and feel good about ourselves.

I have a beautiful boy who hates work. He does not just not like it, he absolutely hates work of any kind. I remember learning with the boys that Benjamin Franklin hated to work and that is why he invented all the things he did – he was trying to make his life easier as well as the lives of others. I found that amazing that he used his love of being lazy to work so hard at all the amazing helpful things that he created. But not for my son today. He had troubles reading a word in Chumash, a tantrum. “It’s too hard, I can’t do it!” Math getting him today, “I give up, I can’t do it!” A brother trying to save him from scrubbing the dirty cutlery tomorrow morning informing him that he put them in wrong and they will not get cleaned AND even nicely telling him how to fix it, nope, won’t do it.

I have sat down with him a few times today to try to talk to him. Once I tried to tell him that life is work, that is just what we have to do. Sometimes things are easy, but many times they are hard. It is at that precise moment that we have to try just a little bit more and usually we will find that we really can actually do it. These are our challenges, our chance to show how great we really are. The second time I tried to talk to him about why his day was so terrible to him. We all have choices, we all run our own lives. It is us, not Hashem. We get to choose if we want to throw a tantrum. We get to choose if we want to give up or if we will try again. It is all our choice. We even get to choose if we are happy or not – even if everything we tried went wrong. I am not sure anything sunk in. It is hard growing up. He definitely brings out my inner greatness to try to teach. It is not that he cannot do it, it is just that when things get a little bit difficult he does not want to even try. It’s too hard.

English reading was difficult for the longest of time. He definitely was a late reader and the last few years I just let him hang out with it on his level. This year I am very pleasantly surprised at what he can do – but this level did not come without a lot of tears to begin with. I know I have to sit down with him and push him to work in other areas now. I am just not quite ready yet mentally. I do not really look forward to the hard work we both have ahead of us, but I know that once that hard work is over we will both be so happy. It is something that just has to be done.

In the meantime, I hope that he will think just a tiny bit about something that I tried to tell him today and hope that he will have a beautiful sleep for tomorrow is a fresh new day with its own new challenges and another chance to try to tap into our inner self and pull out our greatness.

Back To Work!

I can’t believe it has been 7 weeks already. Last week DH went into the doctor’s and was given the okay to go back to work. There are mixed feelings all around, but life goes on and Baruch Hashem his foot is healing properly. He still has one more week without being able to put pressure on the foot, and it will take a bit before he can think about his dream of running a marathon 😉 but he is definitely on his way.

As my newest role as a caregiver to my husband 24/7 changes to something like 6/5 and 24/2 I can actually take half a breath and take a look at how things went. The first several days after the accident was just a blur. We were all just trying to manage and survive. From traveling back and forth from the hospital to home and back again several times a day, to trying to keep beautiful boys quiet so Daddy can sleep was a job in itself. One of the challenges of homeschooling children is when someone is sick you still have everyone at home. I do not know about girls, (and yes, even though I am one myself!) but I do know that one of the big things boys like is noise. One boy loves to make various (um, annoying) sounds, one boy just has a loud, deep penetrating voice and one boy is not old enough to remember to keep his high shrill voice down to something manageable to others. Somehow we managed. We made it though and life went on.

I would have loved to have just spent time with my husband over the last 7 weeks, but there were 4 wonderful reasons why I couldn’t do that. I guess they were a good thing. Well, I know they were a good thing. I tried to continue on with our schooling as much as possible after the first week. Except for when there were doctor visits, we actually got most things done. Except math. I think the one thing that kept us on track as much as possible was the fact that the boys had scheduled times to log onto Room613. The fact that they had classes that could not wait 5 minutes before starting was such a big help. I use that time to teach other classes to other boys. The problem with math is that I have it scheduled at the end of the day AFTER their classes with Rabbi Resnick. By the time 3pm came around, Daddy was going crazy and looking for TLC. I cannot blame him.

I still have a hard time imagining how difficult it is to need help with everything. Even making his way to use the bathroom was a production. He couldn’t get up for a glass of water, if something fell he was at the mercy of whoever was around (if anyone) to help him pick it up and trying to take a shower to feel human was such a long process. I know he tried hard not to ask the same person for help all the time (Baruch Hashem there were 5 other people around!) but he felt so imposing that he even went to far as to try to not ask anyone for help. For that I have constantly given him mussar. I never once felt like he was imposing and tried to make sure he saw me with a smile, even if he had to ask me to get up in the middle of the night. But I can understand.

Having to juggle between putting on my teacher’s hat and my caregiver’s hat took a lot out of me – and my time. I had scheduled extra time in between classes to help give me time to do a bit of cleaning here and there and to help spend some quality time with Mr. Big Boy #4 and yes, even some down time for me, but that was all taken up with my other new career. I have to admit that Daddy was really a good sport and usually told me he could wait for whatever it was until I had my break though that did make me feel bad to have to make him wait. What all this really meant for me was that I was constantly on the move. I had no me time, no time to mop the floor, no time to give to a little boy, no time to do nothing. By the time 3pm came around, I was doing my hardest to try to get myself to make supper, never mind math. DH mentioned this morning, “Oh, you were not on the computer yesterday?” No. That is another thing. No computer, no internet and no email – no time.

Then, after looking at house, I decided to implement a secret plan. I spent the last 4 days working on it. I am not finished, but I am a long ways over, and by now it is not secret. I made the executive decision to move all 4 boys into one room. Yes, one room for 4 boys, a 1:4 ratio. We have a 3 bedroom house. I know. You can tell me that the past 6 weeks turned me crazy.

Really, I am doing this to help out a very creative boy (see previous post!) as you can tell from this embarrassing photo (which was about half

bedroom_sd_before — Half way cleaned up by Mommy.

way through the cleaning!). This was the amazing job of one boy over the course of just 2 months. The entire floor actually looked as bad as the part still covered in the photo when I first dared to go in and clean. Yes, only 2 months! I go and wipe out everything in the room every few months and try all sort of tricks but so far nothing works. I am just lucky to have one of these amazingly creative boys that just are unable to keep anything clean. I have talked to several Mothers over the past year or so who have similar minded children. It is good to know it is not me. I went ahead and got even more crazy, picked out a nice real color and started painting the walls. Not even DH knew what my plan was until the night before I finished painting. Boys helped me put together one set of bunk beds last night, and they all helped me organize clothing. I have decided that since there will be limited space in this room now, we can’t have 4 sets of drawers. I bought each boy 4 storage bins that fit under the bed. We are not done, I still want to get each boy a nice sized box with a lid and a combination lock that is their personal property.

As far as the new room, I am not quite sure what I am going to do with it. I do know that I want my sewing machines to be in there so I have a place to sew, but I do not need a lot of room for that. We shall see. The green I picked out for the boys is good for the boys but not what I want for any other part of the house. It was nice to have boys tell me I was doing a wonderful job and that they were liking the room and the color. It was also fun to have them all ask me whose room it was going to be only to be told, “I will tell you when I’m finished!” I was busy the entire day – from painting to preparing meals to cleaning two bathrooms down to mopping them, taking Daddy and one boy to the JCC to exercise and hang out in the pool, to shopping and then finally exercising myself. By the time we got home and organized clothes, it was 10:30 and the boys were STILL UP! How did it get so late? Then to walk into the kitchen and feel that everything went wrong and that perhaps my priorities were totally wrong. Perhaps I should have spent all that time I spent on painting on cleaning the house. Perhaps a pent up Daddy would have been happier? He tells me it was not me and not the house just the circumstance of him being pent up, but perhaps I could have alleviated things a bit by having different priorities. I don’t know.

What ever the case is, I cannot turn back the time and DH really likes how I did the boys’ bedroom. Today is MLK day and schools are closed. We are a school so we will be closed as well. I usually have school on statutory holidays for why not? But today, we are being flexible and I am not going to feel guilty. Today, we are cleaning the house, I am going to practice my music for the girl’s middle school performance tomorrow and we are going to try to get two sessions of math in. HA! That last goal is really funny, but I’ll really be satisfied with one session for each boy, but don’t tell them that!

I drove my Dear Husband to work this morning. Things there have also gone through a change. We are not sure what Hashem has planned for us, but after the past 7 weeks, we know that no matter what, everything really is for the best. I am going to miss seeing his wonderful face during the day. I think that I will like retirement. In the meantime I have something to look forward too, and oh, I think we shall be able to get a few more math lessons in in the meantime and the house is getting cleaner as I type. 😉

Still Chugging Away

We have finally launched our Wiki site! A Jewish Homeschool Wiki that is open for everyone to come and read, use, post, edit, etc. It is similar to Wikipedia. We have a nice sized list of resources for Jewish and Secular studies, as well as various areas for other topics such as general homeschooling, legal laws in various states, etc. It still needs a lot of work and I hope that those who have things to contribute will help us out!

http://wiki.atorahlife.com

Well, I did not post last week mainly for there was not much new to post. Things are still the status quo. Baruch Hashem, Daddy’s foot is slowly healing. He has been working on using crutches so that he can go back to work in a few weeks. It will be much easier when he is able to put even a tiny bit of pressure on his foot. He still has to have it elevated most of the time, but he has noticed that he can have it down for a short time and it is still okay. I think that he is really overwhelmed with everything that goes on in our day! Four beautiful boys can get a little noisier than what he is used too. 😉

We actually did have some fun this past week for Grandpa came for a visit. It is always fun with Grandpa. It is always fun with any Grandpa! Grandpa paid them for vacuuming out the car – AFTER they were given a lesson on how much their time was worth in the real world – i.e. They spend a total of 20 minutes on the car vacuuming it (all four boys worked pretty much equally, according to their age.) So, they each worked about 5 minutes. If minimum wage is $8/hr, how much should Grandpa pay them?

They first worked out that they could do about 10 cars an hour, so that would make each car worth 80 cents for one person. So, Grandpa offered to pay them each 80 cents for their work. They were not too keen on that price. Grandpa told them he would give them each $3. And then upped it to $5 on condition they would buy him something at the store for him. 😉 Yes, Grandpas are fun. (And he decided he did not need anything from the store!)

There are times when I ask myself why do I bother? Why do I bother asking someone to do anything? A simple task of taking a hat from one room and putting it in the hat cupboard in another room can turn into a long hard task. Sometimes it gets tossed like a frizbee down the hallway (as if I will not see it there), and other times it gets put into a totally different room, sometimes even further away than its real home. I can call the beautiful boy who was given this simple task 3 or 4 times before it gets put away properly. And this is a simple task. We won’t talk about how many hours it takes to pick up all clothes, regardless of whether they are clean or not, and to shove them down the laundry shoot. (Yes, I will admit that I fell in love with the house as soon as I saw that laundry shoot, I really did!) That gets to be pretty ugly, and that is just the clothes, never mind any garbage or books or what not that need to be put away. It is almost always much easier to just do it myself and be done with it. Why do I take up so much of my time to ask someone to do any task when I *KNOW* it will mean it will involve so much time from me to manage the situation? Many times I think that my house would be cleaner if I did it myself, but then that just might be my wishing… At least there might be less frustration and therefore less exercise classes in raising voices if I just do it myself.

The answer is because I am raising children who will (hopefully) learn how to live and contribute in this world. My goal is to raise children who know how to do laundry, cook necessities, and clean. Note that I did not say they have to like it all, but they will know how it needs to be done. In other words, I put up with using my time to having to call a boy back 3 or 4 times just to put a hat away properly, or I will take a boy by the hand and physically take him to each piece of laundry that needs to be picked up because this boy just cannot do it on his own, no matter how hard he tries. I know that if I do not make them do any of this stuff, they will not know what is really involved in doing any of these things. Yes, I am sure that if they never learned any of these things, they would figure out how to use a washing machine and a dryer, after all they are pretty smart boys. However, once they move out on their own and are busy with a job and/or family, it is so much nicer not to have to worry about learning about all these things then – and they might keep some shalom bayis by not complaining as much to their wives! I guess it all boils down to the fact that I love them all. My time is just as precious as each of theirs and I purposely use more of my time to help train them into being the best they can be.

I do have to remind myself of this reason on an occasional basis but even then, I still do wonder if I would just do more of these things myself, perhaps my house would be in better order? Yes, I know the saying that says something like “I may have a messy house, but I have happy and healthy children,” but it would be nice to keep it a little bit better. It seems that the house is not too bad – as long as no one comes over – but when we have an unexpected visitor, it must be Murphy’s law that says without fail, the house will be in shambles. So, I have created another goal for myself. My goal – figure out how to make things a simple as possible. Is there any way I can help a boy who cannot clean up keep his stuff neater? I know that things will not be in 100% order (and nor do I want it to be that way, that is way too far for me!) but since I know I need to delegate chores to create a well-rounded person, I need to simplify things even more than I am now in order for them to reach their goals. I need to regroup and reorganize yet again so that Murphy’s law will only be effective 90% of the time. 🙂

I have been thinking about when we go away for several days, how I manage to keep the laundry done and how often times things are easier to cleanup. I’m sure that the fact that everyone only has 2-3 changes of clothing, and that we only take 1/10 of 1/2 of 1/4 of 1% of our books with us really helps, but sometimes we can get some enlightening by house something is done when outside the home which might help when we are home. We shall see, I have some ideas brewing in my mind, and I think very soon I am going to implement some or all of them. But for now, I still have to do some final cleanup here before I head off for bed. I know that I won’t get away with it all!

Finally, a few minutes!

We have been pretty busy over the past week,Chanukah was fun,and I have a feeling that it is going to remain busy until Daddy is able to go back to work. We are definitely still trying to adjust. Daddy needs a lot of help with everything for he is stuck in his chair all day. I have not had the computer for more than about 5-10 minutes a day over the past couple of weeks. However, it started of on a good note when I found out after Shabbos that a dear friend of mine had a baby girl last week. 🙂 It is always nice to hear good news, especially when things are on the tough side. It put a bit of extra joy into the day and seems to help.

I have heard just a little bit about the terrible school shooting on Connecticut. What can I say? Obviously it hurts and pains me to hear such terrible news. I try to be a happy person in general, and it is very difficult for me listen to much of these kinds of news. However, I hope that you will forgive me for I am not going to talk about it and hope that people do not think that I am uncaring or that I am self-centered, it is just my way of dealing with things. I do not believe in bringing up this topic to my children, there is no need too. They will hear all about the real world soon enough, I have no doubt about it. We keep up on news in our house. If any of them come to me and bring up the topic (or similar topics), I will talk to the beautiful boy at their level.

I do not think I would have been able to read up much on the shooting if I tried. Well, I have been able to squeeze in two sets of exercises this week. Not really hot, but I guess it is better than the one time last week, and none the week and half before. It’s amazing how much extra help one person needs. Granted that I have not put on the alarm for the last 2 weeks and so I am getting up an hour and a half later, but that does not really affect the morning routine that much. I have to make sure all the towels, soap, shampoo, clothes, chair in the shower, etc are set in the right places for DH can’t really reach over and rearrange things. Sometimes Daddy is ready to daven with the boys in the morning when they are needing too, and sometimes not. It takes a lot longer for him to shower and get dressed now. Even when Daddy is ready to daven, he has not eaten like the boys have. We juggle getting food when Daddy is ready to eat and going through our Parsha HaShavua. It is not hard and is not long to get ready (it is usually mostly ready anyways,) it just interrupts our learning a bit. The same is true for the rest of the day. Since Daddy cannot get up and go get anything, everything needs to be brought to him. I know he does not like it, but the rest of us do not mind. It just takes time to do each of the things that need to be done, Baruch Hashem I had built in a little extra time in between classes. All that extra time is used up, but at least we usually get to complete most of the daily school work.

Usually. We are still having issues fitting our math in. We have done better than last week, but not as much as we should. I am on the move all day either with teaching a boy or assisting my DH or doing laundry or cleaning. By the time school is over I just do not want to do much. I have made good use of the crock pot this week and that was such a relief! Pea soup is always a hit and I threw it all into the pot during the 5 minutes I had mid morning and 6 mouths were watering by supper. Tonight was the much sought after tortillas. I forgot I was saving the jar of roasted peppers for tonight and had used it up earlier this week, so I had to be creative and find some other filling. Cut up Tofurky with shredded carrots, sliced olives and quartered whole tomatoes warmed up with chili powder and topped with salsa sauce today. Usually I do beans, but I wanted a change tonight. Twas good! Again, less than 10 minutes to make. Nutritious and delicious and fast to make. My kind of food.

Doctors, doctors, doctors – 4 visits to doctors this week, 3 to the chiro for the extra strain on the shoulders that the walker has caused, and one to the surgeon for the post-op. That means that I am not around for school during that time. I am so glad I do not normally have to run around like that! Perhaps if I did that all day I would not be so tired from it.

Baruch Hashem the ankle is healing very nicely. The cast was removed and a boot put on in its place. He still cannot put any pressure on the foot at all and needs to keep it elevated almost all the time. All was going well until we realized it was going to be another 4 weeks with the foot up, not 2 like we thought! Poor Daddy, he is going stir crazy sitting in the same chair all day, every day. We have rearranged our dining room/kitchen and brought the recliner into the dining room and moved the table into the kitchen part – it is a lot brighter and makes for a happier Daddy. We have tried to go out to a store or the mall a couple of times just to get out. It is not as easy for it is not that we have to put the wheelchair into the car, we have to dismantle it. It is not too bad when the weather is calm, but with wind or rain, it seems to take so much longer to remove the legs and reassemble them afterwards. I am glad it has been as warm as it has been this winter. It is almost as if the weather has been warm just for us. Thank you Hashem!

The boys have been really good and very helpful. Mr. Boy #1 always initiates dismantling the wheelchair to put into the van. He is very sweet, I

matti_spaceship — Spaceship! Made “all by self!”

try to not have him do it all the time, but it is so nice to have help and not ask for it! All the boys are helpful. Sometimes they are not quite sure what needs to be done, but once they have been told, they are very willing to do what is needed. Baruch Hashem. It has also been nice on Shabbos so the boys have been able to wheel Daddy to shul on Shabbos morning. It is good for him to get out and I know he appreciates it. We are not sure about this Shabbos, I think it is suppose to snow, so it might be a cooped up day.

Even after supper I’m still kept busy. Even with good boys, they are still boys (I would not want otherwise!) One little one has such a loud voice and is not old enough to understand how to talk quietly for more than 5 seconds at a time. Others are just needing to move around and be boys. I finally sent them all outside tonight. Yes, it was dark, but we have a fenced in backyard. It started raining. As Charlotte Mason said, the rain will do them good as long as it is not thundering and lightening. They have dry clothes in the house to change into if they get too wet. I think they spent some time outside and some time in the breezeway. Now, they are in the basement. Not sure what they are doing, but I sure hear that little one with a big voice!

Daddy likes company and it is sure nice to see him everyday, even though we are not able to sit down and talk much. There are still things that need to get done. Among other things, he can still work on the budget – we need to make sure we mark all the extra expenses now before we forget which ones they are! He tries hard to do as much as he can without extra help, but I know he is glad when school is finished so we can give him more time. Not sure how I was able to keep up with laundry this week, I even went downstairs to put on another load and there was not enough to deal with! I do have 3 loads to fold and put away, but that is all. I have not been able to get the boys to all go to bed at a reasonable time most nights, mostly because I just am wiped and partly because I do not want to deal with it. After the boys finally are in the bedrooms it is bedtime for adults. I have found that I hardly get any down time, which is why I mentioned to DH that I needed some tonight, with the computer.

I definitely am not complaining, and I have even given DH mussar (reprimand) for NOT asking for help. Even though it means a lot of work and energy from the rest of us to help him out, we want to do it, we do it out of love for we all love him. There has been some positive to all of this – he has definitely been able to bond with Mr. Big Boy #4. That has been lacking, but slowly it has been shown to be a good thing. This has also given him the much needed mental vacation from work (because this is a Worker’s Comp. case, the company has completely shut down his email and other ways to access the company by internet so he has no choice but not do work,) not that we wanted it this way nor do we wish this on anyone else, but Hashem knows best and knew this was the only way.

On a bright note, life does roll on. Mazal Tov to Mr. Big Boy #1 who advanced two ranks in Boy Scouts last night during his Court of Honor and earned a whooping 10 merit badges! Woohoo!

So, for all of you who wonder why I do not answer emails and wonder why do not see me on Facebook, now you know. This is the first time in a long time that I had more than 5-10 minutes on the computer in a day. I access email and Facebook by phone, but just to keep up, it is hard to type on it.

Adjusting to New Situations

The next several postings will most likely be how we are coping with our new situation. With Daddy being home and in need of more TLC for the next month, things are not going to be quite the same. I am sure the next few postings will be more of a diary entry than it usually does because of it. However, since the goal of my writing is to help others, I think this is the best way.

Just to recap, on our way to deliver popcorn last week, we got a call from Daddy saying he was in an accident. He broke his ankle in two places and that dislocated his foot. He had to have surgery to correct this. The recovery involves being at home sitting with his leg raised at all times. It has now been 9 days since the accident and I can finally take a break to write a little bit.

Anyone who had to deal with a new baby or a sick or elderly relative, knows how life changes. IY”H, our new situation will be temporary, and w though we do like seeing Daddy, eating meals with him and talking to him throughout the day, life is a bit more challenging at the moment.

The first few days was were a constant drive between the hospital and home. Baruch Hashem the hospital is just a few minutes drive away. From talking to doctors, to checking on the boys to trying to help Daddy out with whatever minute thing he needed for he could not do much, those few days were quite busy with not much sleep on my part. The thing that I remember the most is how nice and small and how so friendly everyone was at the hospital. From the nurses and doctors to the other hospital workers. Always a friendly face to be found and always wanting to help. I do not know how many times I followed a doctor or nurse into a room and then when I needed to leave I had to ask how to get out (even though it was a small place!)

The hardest time of all were the first 30 or so hours Daddy came home. I do not remember too much of that time, it was all a blur. All I remember was that Daddy was in a lot of pain from his leg to his headaches to his nausea from the medicine to the constant attending to his needs. Everyone pitched in and was there to help, even the little one!

School during that time? What was that? I managed to get most of their online schooling with their Rebbe plus one more subject (one more the entire week), but that was all. I decided that I was not even going to try. It was hard enough keeping 4 good boys in whispers for days while Daddy tried to feel a bit human. Any noise would hurt his head.

Food. Well, that first night, we had already eaten supper by the time we got the phone call. I did a good job shopping two days before and supper was all planned out to be pea soup in the crock pot. 2 packages of split green peas, an onion (or pre-chopped dried onions from the spice rake!), pre-shredded carrots, 2 sliced celery sticks, chopped tofu slices/tofurky or other meat and water. Takes 5 minutes to make. Turn on high for 4-6 hours on high or 6-8 hours on low and you’re all set! Nutritious, delicious and everyone loves it! Note to self – don’t forget to keep yourself hydrated! It just makes life a bit easier that way.

We could have managed when Daddy came home, but it was nice to have someone drop some supper off. It was also nice that this dear friend put up with “do you know where we can borrow a wheelchair”, to bringing it over and “Oh! Insurance is dropping one off tonight,” to “do you still have it?” to “never mind, they finally dropped it off!” And to my dear sister who so kindly told me that I was not going to be able to do it all and to accept meals. But really, we could have managed, though yes, deep down inside I was very grateful for any meals that came our way. It just seemed to take that one burden off my shoulders while I was busy doing other needed things.

The first morning back home told me how busy and how low on sleep I was when I thought we woke up at 8:30, rested for a few minutes, got up to use the bathroom and then came out only to have 2 boys tell me it was 10 am! I just stood there in disbelief at the two boys looking at their watches and trying to soak in that I was jipped an hour! Ok, Boy 2 you have 30 seconds to get out of bed and get to your online class! You should have seen him move! It usually takes 30 minutes to get him out of bed, no matter what time it is!

Oh my goodness, I cannot tell my boys enough – MAKE SURE YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY FUND!!! Do NOT spend all your take home money, put in a small amount each month. There has been the extra gas money, the extra trips to the store. Walgreens was my home away from home for the first several days from getting everything from a new showerhead (that we do have to return, it broke while installing it…. no comment…) to a bag of ice to help for pain. Not to mention that we are unsure of when we will be getting a “pay check” for this is a Worker’s Comp. case and who knows when they will send Daddy’s check. Baruch Hashem we will be able to pay our bills and feed our tummies until that happens.

Shabbos brought a much needed respit. Yes, Daddy was wheeled to shul by a wonderful boy. He was starting to feel a little better, but still needed lots of TLC. Nine days later and the boys are still wonderful mitzvah boys. The same enthusiasm they showed the first day in wanting to help Daddy is still there, Baruch Hashem!

Even though there was not much schooling done last week, the boys did manage to each put together a Dvar Torah. It is always nice when we can manage to have some resemblance of normalicy during difficult times. Yes, I made challah as usual on Thursday night, yes we did have our weekly cinnamon buns for Shabbos morning, and yes, there was a Dvar Torah from each boy on Friday night.

Monday morning was the beginning of a new school week. I was not sure how much we would get done, but we just needed to step in and try. I figured that there would be some subjects that got skipped due to having to help Daddy, but we would figure out how to deal with it. Amazingly, since Daddy was resting most of the school day, we got almost everything accomplished! Everything but math. Even today, only one boy got to math. Math is at the end of the day right now and I think that is why it seems to be skipped over, our help is needed. Not quite sure what to do about it. I have not turned the alarm on in the mornings and so I have not been getting up at 6:30 like we usually do for I do not wake up until about 8. The fact that I am not “forced” to get up then kinda makes me lazy about doing something I do not really care to do! I am hoping I will start waking up a bit earlier so that I can get myself ready earlier. Perhaps we can start doing math at 8:30 before we are set to daven. We have 3 computers available and perhaps I can get everyone doing math at the same time. (Our math is from Khan Academy this year and the boys like it!)

Anyways, each day is a new day, with its own new challenges. I have been a mother, wife, friend, doctor, nurse, caregiver, chauffeur and a plumber these last 9 days. Yes, a plumber. We have 3 projects that need to get done and so far only had time for one. Why? Because instead of waiting up for Daddy until after midnight, we are actually going to bed at a reasonable time! Not that I mind that much, but yes I am quite busy until the time the boys go to bed and do not get to extra stuff until night time. Now, night time is spend in bed, like it should. (Though Daddy would argue that we are still going to bed too late! Can’t win them all.)

Two nice things that happened Monday night. I actually got to exercise for 15 minutes for the first time in the last week and a half. The second one is that Daddy got himself a present – a guitar! He has been wanting one for a while, and a month sitting down is the perfect excuse he needed to get one.

The boys missed all the Chanukah parties around town this year, and Daddy is really feeling bad about that. However, tonight is the 5th night of Chanukah and has a special feeling about it, so tonight, (see here for more info) we are going to light our home and have a Chanukah party! The boys do not know about it yet. Nothing fancy, just some goodies, music, a game or two of dreidle and yes, I will get them a present.

Oh, and one more thing – I don’t have to match socks for 6 weeks! 🙂 There is good in everything. 😉

The Good in Everything

Happy Birthday to my 12 year old! His Hebrew birthday was the past Shabbos and his English birthday is this Friday. Only 1 more year to go. The nachas from his troope practicing and his parsha singing has begun!

I apologize I did not get a post out last week. I was thinking about it, however, I spent my time finishing up my latest book (the fact that there was a sale on books last week helped with that!) This book is a Jewish Homeschool book. I write in hopes to help others. Homeschooling can be wonderful but very difficult at times. Often times we do not have any way to gauge our success or failures. Many times things seem to go wrong and we feel like a failure. This book is an accumulation of my blog postings. It also includes postings that are not posted as well as templates that can be useful to homeschoolers. We have our ups and we have our downs, just like every other family. (The book can be purchased through Lulu.com. I am working on getting it distributed through Amazon.com as well as in an ebook format.)

Aside for that little bit of excitement for me, I was trying to think of what I was going to write about this week. Since Chanukah is just around the corner, I had been coming up with almost free activites that the boys can do. I was racking my brain for a nice menorah for my 3 year old to make when he pulled out (on his own, without me mentioning it) his menorah from last year! He was so excited! It is a real menorah that is almost as tall as he is. I was excited as well for I had totally forgotten about it and never thought that at that age (last year he was 2,) he would have remembered it even if I had showed it to him. Well, that was one thing I did not have to worry about and it actually lifted a nice pressure off my shoulders. It is made of a nice piece of wood, decorated with paint, small wooden chips and tea lights.

I thought perhaps I could get off a little easy by telling the boys they were going to perform the story of Chanukah – complete with actors and costumes and props. They were excited and even started the process. I then figured the little one would really benefit greatly from arts and crafts, as well as the older ones enjoying themselves, so I had been looking at some fairly easy, almost free yet nice crafts. Chanukah is one of the holidays in which there is no shortage of suggestions. I did come across 2 sites that met my fancy a bit this year:

http://www.amotherinisrael.com/easy-inspiring-chanukah-craft-ideas/

http://www.tipjunkie.com/holiday-crafts/hanukkah-kids-crafts/

Aside from that, we have entered the last POPCORN phase. Yes, we are not done! (See why it is a nightmare for parents?! However, we like to think of it as summer camp for yummy boys, for they earn money in their scout accounts that can be used towards scout camp tuition.) We are trying to deliver all the tins and boxes – it is hard when you have only 30 minutes of daylight to do it each day. It is slow, but we are making progress. For those that we owe popcorn too, please don’t fret, we will try to get them to you within the next week. Please forgive us. We were on a roll this week when Someone thought our life was too dull. As we were on the way to the JCC to meet up with customers who bought, I got a call from DH. I needed to come to his work ASAP, and no excuses. He was in an accident. It was in the parking lot at work. So, I handed boys the phone and they called their customers and rescheduled meeting times while I changed the direction of the car.

Turns out he slipped on the little water that was left from the rain the day before (it was 50 degrees out, no ice.) It was a pretty bad accident, and we brought him to the hospital. To make a long story short, Daddy’s ankle is broken in 2 places and he needed surgery. Well, so much for some fun Chanuakah projects! From driving back and forth from the hospital to home (Baruch Hashem only 8-10 minutes away,) it was so much for pretty much everything.

We did have one of those homeschooling moments in the car on the way to visit Daddy. We had all been talking about retirement accounts and emergency funds this past week. It is so very important to start contributing to one’s retirement account as soon as one starts working – not 1 or 2 years later. It is also very important to save a portion of each paycheck to put into an emergency fund. Even though they are pretty smart many things just do not internalize just by talking.

I do not remember how the conversation started, it could be that I specifically started it, I just do not remember, but I felt I could internalize this lesson. The boys have been asking for various things, and unfortunately we have had to tell them there is no money. We have a budget and we stick to it. It is very important to keep out of debt. I told the boys that it costs money to go back and forth to the hospital, it costs money to pay for the parking (even though it was VERY reasonable,) it costs money to buy the extra food and other extras we need at the moment. How are we paying for it? With our emergency fund! Baruch Hashem our cost for this emergency will not be that much extra, and when we are past it, we will shore up the emergency fund again. Even while sitting in the front, I could see some gears start to turn.

I had this grand idea that since we homeschool, our school travels with us, even when visiting Daddy in the hospital. We grabbed our supplies and books, as well as some lunch and off we were! I was very proud of myself. Unforunately, the hospital’s internet is too slow to access Room613, so that was not a go. Each boy did get 1 lesson done, so it was not a complete failure.

The boys were wonderful. They behaved themselves, were quiet, only kibitzed one time (and it was a small kibitz!) but 4 boys walking around a small hospital room while Daddy’s foot not only hurt a lot, he had a migraine despite 3 various medicines that he was given, was not really good combination. They did, however, manage to learn 2 sets of mishnayos lessons with Daddy before I took them back home. The house remained fairly intact and even though I gave them a little bit of mussar, I was very impressed with how well they kept it. I have not heard too many complaints from any of them and so I’m contemplating purchasing each of them a book as a thank you present. I am itching to buy them each a book again, books are great presents and they get read and re-read and re-read, and re-read again. And, they are presents for not just one boy, but each boy, in his turn, can grow into it and read it. However, since money is tight, I have not been able to do it. This is accident is just the excuse I need to be able to purchase the books. It would have to come out of our emergency money fund and I definitely would not purchase books right now if it were not for the emergency! I think Daddy will have to agree to it. 🙂

This accident is also a great time to show Hashem’s great kindness and love. I tell the boys that everything Hashem does is good and is for the best. It is hard to see that when something “bad” happens. Over the last few days, DH and I have come up with so many brachos and good things. Baruch Hashem it happened in the parking lot at work and not while driving on the road. Baruch Hashem it was only as bad as it was, it could have been much, much worse. There was talk that Daddy was going to have to go overseas for work for up to 3 weeks. The doctor said it could be up to the end of the month before he will go back to work! Now, Daddy is not only home for a much needed rest from all the work he has been doing, he will be home for Chanukah for sure (and the boys are SOOOO excited about that!) He can even spend more time learning. Yes, it will be a long recovery, however, the surgery went better than planned and he is doing very well. There is good in everything, if we only look.

Wishing everyone a Freilichen Chanukah! May the light of the menorah shine light into your world as well!

Gobble Gobble and Challah Baking!

It always amazes me (though by now it probably should not,) how Hashem arranges things to happen at the “right time,” and it is all a very customized right time for each one of us. We have gone away for Thanksgiving to my husband’s side of the family for our entire married life, except for the one year when I was almost 9 months pregnant with our first child and then my in-laws came to us. (Being from Canada, and Thanksgiving a month and a half earlier, visiting my side of the family was never an option at this time.) Our family celebrates Thanksgiving. It is a time to be thankful for the sacrifices of others to let us be who we want to be today. Baruch Hashem we are allowed our own religion and to observe it the way we choose as well as choose various life paths as we see fit.

This year we were unfortunately not able to make our yearly pilgrimage to the southern part of the country for the prices of the plane tickets DOUBLED and with 6 people that makes one big difference! We were sad and disappointed for that means there will be only 1, not 5 boys running around Aunty’s house and no visiting with their Uncle and Grandpa either. There is a rhyme and reason to all that happens in this world and the more I look for it the more I see it. We do not always get to see the intricate web of life that is woven but if we are on the lookout, sometimes we are lucky to catch a few glimpses.

Since we will be at home, I decided to add some decoration to the kitchen. My oldest printed out some place cards with everyone’s name on them and I went to a neat website called The Toy Maker which is filled with various paper toys and projects for everyone. There are a lot of wonderful neat ideas to print out and fold. There is even a newsletter to join to receive emails 3-4 times a year with links to various seasonal projects that the author has created. In keeping with our “I’m Thankful to Hashem for…” theme we have been on this past month, we printed out some pretty cards from her Thanksgiving page and we all wrote out various things we are thankful for. There are the standard thank you’s about the pilgrims, pumpkin pie and turkey, as well as some non-standard one such as being thankful for being able to go to a friend’s wedding this Thanksgiving weekend and even one that said, “I’m thankful that you are here!” (and yes, it really was directed to Mommy!)

Hashem really does work in mysterious and wondrous ways. Having turkey on Thanksgiving seems to be a staple for many families who celebrate but not for us – for various reasons we have dairy on Thanksgiving so this will be our first Thanksgiving with a turkey and the boys are so very excited. That definitely is something to be thankful for. Baruch Hashem this weekend will be filled with more wonderful simchas with first a Bar Mitzvah on Shabbos and then the wedding of a friend on Sunday. None of these we would be able to enjoy if we went away as usual. Hashem knew. Both simchas are ones I definitely did not want to have to miss and would have if the prices of the plane tickets did not double. Yes, I will miss cooking a fun wonderful meal with my sister-in-law this year, but no longer am I disappointed in not being able to go. IY”H the cooking will happen next year.

Aside from the turkey, 3 different kinds of potatoes (blue, yellow and red), homemade cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, lemon pie, yams with marshmallow fluff (a requirement by boys’ standard!), green beans, salad and fruit, as well as anything else I have forgotten to mention, I am most thankful today for my oldest asking me “when are we going today?” After going back and forth with him about what and when he was talking about, I remembered we were going to the Jewish Senior Home this morning to do a challah presentation. Baruch Hashem he reminded me before we had to be there! After several minutes of running around getting everyone ready, we were off and even arrived 5 minutes early.

Now, I hate to admit it, but this is only my second time being in the Jewish Home. I do not have to be told how such a mitzvah it is to go there. My Grandmother is in one and I did have the opportunity to visit with her twice last year, for which I am very grateful. I just do not really know anyone who is in the senior home here and with being a very quiet person, I have a hard time going up and just talking. That goes for sick people in the hospital as well. The times I have visited someone in the hospital I have dragged a friend or two along or hidden amongst my boys in the room. I’m just not a talker!

However, I do believe it is an extremely important mitzvah to do and I have struggled in my mind how to teach this to my boys. Monkey See Monkey Do. There are other things that I do and I make sure boys help participate. If they see me doing something then it will be easier for them to do (and more likely they will do it.) But, if Mommy is not doing it, why should they? I have found that if I can get myself to do something like this a few times, then the situation starts to get a little easier. After 3 or 4 times going with a friend to visit a particular someone in the hospital, then going by myself does not seem as fearful for I will have a repertoire of things to say and talk about.

I was asked by a friend who works in the senior home if I would come and do a challah presentation over there. I figured that was exactly what I needed – I needed a reason to be there to help “hide” behind; something I could use to talk about. I know I have one outgoing boy, one sort of shy boy (whom I thought took after me in this area) and one EXTREMELY shy boy (whom I did not realize was that shy,) plus the little one who is both here and there. I took them all with me. It was the opportunity I was looking for to teach them about this big mitzvah.

The boys were all busy with their various degrees of shyness and using Mommy as their safety net that I do not think they realized they were used as a safety net as well! I definitely had to step up to the plate for them but I think we all had fun. As soon as I started talking to the Grandmas, I had all 4 boys beside me. I was not planning on having them helping in that way, but realized that was their way of hiding behind me. I talked and explained all I knew about bread making and challah making and the boys did. They scooped the flour and sugar, poured the oil, mixed and kneaded and were all kept busy and (for the most part,) out of trouble. They even braided and egged and sesamed the challah. It gave them the courage to put away some of that shyness and do a mitzvah. I was even asked again if I would come back in the spring. (Phew! We were liked!) That is just what we all need – a reason to go. After another 1-2 times of doing this, I think that even the extremely shy one will have more confidence and none of us will need that safety net.

As we are remembering all the things to be thankful for, let us not forget to daven for the safety and well being of all our family and friends in Israel, especially the ones serving in the IDF. The more things we can be thankful for the better.

Keeping Our Children

I am sitting here remembering that last night I thought of a good idea to write about but did not have the time. Tonight, I have the time but do not have the idea. My sister suggested talking about how my 3 year old vacuumed the area rug in our living room for 30 minutes (which normally does not get more than a minute or so of TLC time,) and how we should take those mundane tasks that we do and use those times wisely to clean ourselves spiritually and emotionally. I guess that idea will also work with the kitchen and dining room floor that he insisted he mop after an older brother did his share. There was so much opportunity to sit down and cleanse my soul while I waited for the inch of water on the floor to dry. If we would to look around and snag a little time here and there to re-Jew-venate, we would be so much further ahead. Alas, unfortunately I was busy trying to get all the BBB’s (beautiful bouncing boys) into bed!

The only thing I remember about the wonderful idea last night is that it was all about Emuna (faith/belief). Over the past several weeks it seems to be a recurring theme, at least in my mind, and I know it has not been any coincidence! It is like when you get a new car, all of a sudden everyone has the exact same car, though they were always on the road, it is just that your eyes were closed to seeing them. Only when we get that car do our eyes open. Too often we (or should I say, I?) go through the day and do not think. Life gets busy – teaching, coordinating children with schoolwork on computers, supper, nap time, house cleaning, etc. and before you know it, the day is done. What happened to it? Life can get meaningless and one can start to wonder “why”? When my children grow up and move out of the house, it will be harder to help them with these obstacles. We all want our children to not only remain faithful to the Torah and its teachings, but to WANT to remain faithful. I know that I want to remain, but will my children? Now is the time to ingrain within them the answers before the questions arise. The million dollar question – How? How can I instill in my children a connection with Hashem that is strong enough to remain?

I am not sure I have all the answers, but I lately I have sure gotten a lot closer. I have been trying to open up my children’s eyes by asking them what they are thankful for. I enjoy listening to their answers. Unfortunately I often forget, or should I say the day goes by and I remember too late to ask, but when I do it is nice to just listen. This is one time I always smile and say, “Ok!” and never try to change or “correct” an answer. After all, there is no right or wrong answer, and how can it be their answer if I butt in? A few times I have asked, “Did you mean this, or that?” just to clarify in my mind, but never to change their answer. Every time they have to think, it helps create a slightly stronger bond with their Creator.

Our community was given the honor of having Rabbi Lazer Brody come and speak last week. Rabbi Brody translated Rabbi Arush’s book, “Garden of Emuna”, among many other of Rabbi Arush’s works. There was one thing he said that struck me. Happiness. Judaism IS happiness. If you are not happy then something is wrong. Judaism is not wrong, Hashem is not wrong, there is something with you that needs to be fixed. Of course! It was like a light bulb turned on in my head. How many times have we heard of people who have gone astray because of all the arguing about minhagim (customs) or the strictness (with lack of happiness and love) in doing mitzvos? Someone who grows up (or just sees) fighting about who is right and who is wrong, or feeling that we do the mitzvos because we have to and we better-do-it-right-or-else attitude, why should they remain? There is a mitzvah in the Torah to be happy. If we are happy to do a mitzvah or happy that we have Hashem, then we want to continue. Yes, this is something that I knew, but it never dawned on me that this was the answer or was at least a huge part of the answer I was looking for for my children. The next step is knowing how to be happy. That answer is Emuna. If we have emuna in Hashem in all that He does, we will be happy. If not, we just need to have more emuna. (Now is the time for me to say that to help with emuna read, “The Garden of Emuna”!)

I need to ingrain into my children that Judaism is suppose to be happy and if one is not happy, they need to become happy, it is not Judaism that needs to be changed, chas v’shalom. Also, I need to give them the tools needed to create emuna so that when tough times do happen, and yes they occasionally will, they will know with their heart that it is them that needs to change and they will have the knowledge and ability how to make that happen.

We can try the best we can and we should, but like the concept we are trying to teach our children, we have to practice what we preach. We have to have emuna and daven ourselves that Hashem will help us all out in succeeding in this area. We have to work on ourselves. Not only will our children learn for it’s “Monkey See Monkey Do,” there is an added bonus that we ourselves will be more happy as well and what child does not want a happy parent!

With that said, tonight I am thankful that my rug is clean, my kitchen floor is now clean (and dry!) and the boys like coming to stores with me still. 🙂 What are you thankful for?

A Full Week!

Wow, the middle of October and hard to believe that we only just finished a full week of school! It’s been a tough week for boys for as soon as school work was finished, off to selling popcorn. Baruch Hashem most of the time we were inside, though Baruch Hashem it has been wonderful out here! I did have the next two days scheduled inside the JCC, but I think we have exhausted the crowd there and I will give some boys a happy break from selling popcorn so they can work on their Foliage Raking elective. It has been hard to get outside when it is light when we come home at sunset time. Our yard is wonderfully colored right now, but if we wait much longer I am afraid it will not and instead it will be dull and gloomy looking.

Even with the extra-curricular activity of socialization with selling popcorn, I have been able to spend some time outside getting my exercise with bike rides. Daddy was even home one day to go out with me, which was an extra bonus. 🙂 I am not really looking forward to the diminishing light, however, on the flip side, the children have been going to sleep a little easier since they do not have the light shining in! Baruch Hashem I moved south after getting married so the sun sets before 11pm in the summer…….

Over the last 4 months or so I have been going to a friend’s house to learn with a few other friends. We are reading “Garden of Emuna (faith/belief)” by Rabbi Shalom Arush. We read a few pages each week and talk about it, taking turns discussing and asking questions. It is a nice heimishe group. Over the last few weeks, I have noticed a change. I do feel a closer connection to our Creator, and I find I am looking at things with a slightly new twist. I enjoy the weekly getaway, and I feel better about myself and life in general. I was wondering how I could instill the new feeling of emuna into my boys while they are young instead of waiting for them to get older to read such a book. It is hard for children to really feel and learn some spiritual concepts while young, but it is so very important.

(Note: This book is not recommended for girls who are in school/seminary until after they have been married for a while – they need to be out in the real world a bit. I would assume it would be similar for boys, though it is harder for me to tell for I was never a boy!)

To create emuna, one needs to have a connection to Hashem. Someone in our group told a nice parable. A father had two daughters. The first daughter was given a credit card and was told she could purchase anything she wanted. The only condition was that she call before buying anything, but she was welcome to purchase anything. The second daughter was given a credit card and told she could purchase anything.

The first daughter would find something and call, “Hi Dad, I found this nice skirt, and the price is right.” “Sure, enjoy!” The father always agreed to whatever she purchased. The second daughter would find something and buy it. No call. She was not told to call. At the end of the year, the first daughter had a much closer relationship with her father for she called all the time to touch base and the second daughter never called.

I want our boys to have a similar connection to their Father in Heaven as the first daughter. Yes, I try to show by example, but I do not show everything I feel. I do not verbalize all the times I thank Hashem for the little things, and they are not there when I cry out to Hashem to help me with rough days. So, we have begun a new thing. At least once a day, at various times in the day, I will sit down with all of them and ask each one of them to tell us for what they are thankful to Hashem for today. At first it was hard for some of them, and yes, they would sometimes repeat what a brother before him had said, but they are slowly getting the idea. It does not matter to me what they are thankful for and it does not matter how small the item is. Actually, sometimes I think it is great that they come up with such tiny things to be thankful for because then they understand that everything is from Hashem, not just the big stuff, and will have a better understanding that Hashem is with them everywhere and at all times.

Today I asked for two things from each boy. We were eating supper at the time. I had made a double batch of split pea soup in the crock pot today and each boy, for one of his two things, said they were thankful for the pea soup that they were eating – and they each had a huge smile on their face! *love* I am doing somethings right! (And yes, each of the 4 boys had a second helping!)

The boys do like their Rebbe, and the Rabbi does offer a nice range of classes, but I only have one boy in a class at a time usually. So, that means that not all the boys get all the classes. It is not all that bad, for some of the classes I make up by teaching myself, and others I plan on having the younger ones take in future years when I age the older one out. I do this for various reasons, mainly because I need to have time to teach all the boys, and if they are all taking most of the classes, then I would not have time to teach them all everything for they are all on different levels and time is a slight factor!

I feel it is best to teach the boys a couple more combined classes, similar to how we do parsha. The thing is, I want something that is interesting that could be taught in small doses. It keeps their interest better so that way they will hopefully remember more. Davening is always something that is hard to do unless you know what you are saying. I did find a nice tefillah curriculum that had 24 short lessons on chinuch.org. The lessons are to be done one a week. Something simple, but yet helps all the boys learn just a bit at a time, a nice small bite sized amount. I like small amounts spread over a long period of time. That is how we do our secular studies. The idea is that time gives the person time to think about what was learned and gives the subconscious time to mull things over and to solidify the thoughts and ideas. I have seen how this works well in many cases. Last year I had a son discuss a reading with me and while he was talking to me he told me, “they did not say in this book, but in the other book we read they also mentioned xxx.” It was so nice to hear him take things from various sources and put them together to create a whole picture and he was so excited to be able to do that for me and without me even prompting!

I’m signing off here to do some exercising before bed!

Fitting It All In

Fitting it all in does not just mean the school work I want the boys to do, nor does it mean how to juggle all the house cleaning, laundry, shopping, cooking and anything else that needs to be done. Fitting it all in also includes having regular free time for myself so I do not feel so overwhelmed all the time. When I have found free time on a regular basis, I find that I can and do have the energy and drive to actually do things such as cleaning, cooking and laundry without feeling so pressed for time or doing it begrudgingly.

There is always room for growth, no matter how much we work on improving, so even a seasoned homeschool parent is constantly learning and trying to improve things. I have been looking for ways to make everything work, including making things more calm in the evening. What I did not count on is that I have not only made my evenings more free and open, my days are calm AND we are fitting in more things!

When I first started homeschooling (over 7 years ago now,) it was not much of an issue. As I mentioned before, but will recap briefly again, I used a regular school-like curriculum with textbooks, workbooks and tests. I had one boy I was teaching, and we were able to complete everything in a couple hours in the morning and perhaps another hour in the afternoon. It became tricky once the younger boys were old enough to start school as well. If one boy needed 3 or so hours of my time, then two boys needed at least 6 hours and 3… well, I was starting to wonder how I would be able to teach everyone. We ended up doing some unit study/notebooking for two years, and that was a bit better, for I could actually include all three boys into most lessons, even though they were on various levels. Those worked well for the years we did them, but I still was not happy.

Most of you know by now that we are doing the Ambleside Online (AO) curriculum, which is a Charlotte Mason (CM) based curriculum. This style of teaching was calling out my name, and calling very loudly. Not only is it a rigorous secular schedule and not only is it G-d based, meaning I do not have to worry about evolution based teaching, it also focuses on short days – 1.5-2.5 hours in the younger years and 3-3.5 hours in the older years. And when the boys are old enough, they actually do most of the work themselves and only come to me at the end of the readings to discuss and narrate. This means, I have plenty of time to teach all three boys, and by this time number 4 boy was already here, I had time to get our Judaic learning done as well! That really made such a difference, not only on time, but with my mind, I was more at ease.

The change in the curriculum helped a lot, however, I was still very busy until bed time. With children actually in the house and using it all day it gets, well, used, Baruch Hashem! The drawback to it getting used is that there is more to clean up at the end of the day. I felt I needed to stay up late just to chill out and de-stress and that is not the best for shalom bayis when my wonderful tired husband kept asking me when I was going to be ready. I would feel rushed to de-stress and that is very hard to do!

There are two other changes I have made this year to my schedule and after just a few weeks, I have noticed such a tremendous and wonderful change. The first change was in our schedule. It is so easy to schedule one lesson after another – especially when it is going from one child to another for then the children can get breaks and I can get everything in that I want. There is only one small snag in that theory, and that is… it does not work. Even though we ONLY need 15 minutes for one subject and 20 afterwards with another boy, unless the children know how to pretend they are on an assembly line, it just won’t work. Period. Murphy’s Law will come into effect all the time, guaranteed. A child will not find a book (even though they had 15 minutes to get it,) a younger child will need attention, someone comes to the door, etc. What happens then is that you feel like you did not get what you needed done and you feel like a failure.

This year I got smart. Actually, it was more of luck, but yes, there was a little bit of smartness as well. No matter how long we need for a lesson, I give it 45 minutes! So, even if I need 15 minutes, I do not schedule anything else for 30 more minutes. I did this for as my youngest needs more attention, this gives me the added minutes to cushion in time for him. It also gives time for all the other distractions -CFAP Syndrome (Can’t Find A Pencil,) CFTB Syndrome (Can’t Find The Binder/Book,) IJNTBN Syndrome (I Just NEED The Bathroom NOW,) etc. In other words, it gives the boys just a little bit extra free time during the day, with a less stressed Mom. Even if the boys are all ready and I am all ready, I still give them the rest of the 45 minutes and we all love it! It is cute watching a boy looking at his chart and saying “XXX we have 15 more minutes, come, let’s do YYY!” The nice smiles on their faces somehow makes it all worthwhile. I think it is the idea that playing is now mutar, now permitted, and they do not have to ask me to play or read or whatever, that is *their* time and there is even less CFAP, CFTB and IJNTBN Syndromes now!

I also started something else. I did this a few times last year and it worked nice, and so this year I decided I was going to do it every week. I make a list of meals and the grocery list on Sunday before shopping. I was worried that I would forget or things would just happen and it would not get done, but I think that since I was determined to do this for the right reasons AND (and this is the most important thing,) I was ready for it, Hashem has helped me out so far. Yes, I know friends that already do this and I even had at least one of them suggest it to me before, but I was not ready. After really thinking about it and letting it simmer in my mind for many months, I am now ready.

This works wonders for not only do I have all the ingredients I need for the week, I do not have to worry or wonder what I am making for supper, this huge relief has been lifted from my shoulders. I also have found that I do not mind making something that takes a little extra TLC for supper for I don’t have to spend the time thinking about it which gives more time to cook, if I so choose.

Now, I’m not saying now that I seem to have more free time that my house is spotless, I’m just saying that I have figured out how to keep the status quo and give myself regular free time. At the same time, I am slowly (albeit very slowly,) working on raising the status quo. I’m positive I will eventually get there. 🙂