purim_5773_smallI hope everyone had a wonderful Purim! It was so nice to have it on a Sunday. It is so much more fun when Daddy can be with us and be a part of the whole Purim affair. We had a WWII General as well as General Robert Lee – Confederate he is quick to tell you, a spy, and of course the famous kohain gadol.  We were honored here this past Shabbos with the former Chief Rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Lau. The boys came to the Oneg Shabbos with him, but just Mommy and Daddy went to hear him speak Motzei Shabbos. Now, on to the next climax of the year, Pesach cleaning! Yes, the most anticipated time of the year, the one that people are talking about even in October (yes, I have friends who were actively discussing it in October…..) I was smart to make our new library chometz free from the start and smart to know that the new boys room was not going to stay chometz free so I did not even bother, but yesterday I attacked my bedroom and surprisingly enough got most of the way through it. I should be able to finish it tonight. The living room was attacked last week, couch moved and cleaned up under and inside, but since Daddy’s chair is now in the kitchen it is not really used much which does make it easier to clean. It really should not be so bad this year. Ask me in 2.5 weeks if I still think so!

This morning I sat in the car a few minutes before coming home from taking my husband to work. I watched a 2 minute video. I ended up showing this video to my boys before we davened. One of my beautiful boys is constantly having a “bad day.” This video was very short but the message was very strong. (I strongly recommend taking the 2 minutes to watch it before reading further.)

Sometimes you try things and they don’t work. I get frustrated and wonder why the kids just don’t do what I want or why everyone is seemingly so against me! Maybe it is not them. Maybe it is me. Maybe I have to change. Change your words, change your world. Whenrabbi_lau_airport things go wrong, perhaps we need to rethink what and how we are doing things. My little one has decided over the last little while that he does not want to daven with me, not even for “his” kind of davening. It is a struggle to get him to sit for anything, and honestly, there have been days that I have decided not to fight him and have not davened with him. With the older boys, for Adon Olam, I pick a boy to give a tune – it gives them a chance to be connected just a little bit to the davening and is something they all look forward too (this morning there was an argument from all boys as to who I chose, except the one I chose (of course! 😉 ) Mr. Little Big wanted so bad to choose the tune, but he was not even dressed yet. It was so hard this morning to be 3! Mommy did not choose him to pick the tune for he was not dressed! He did not want to daven with me, so I decided to change. He needs to daven and he used to like davening with me, but he needs a change.

The boys and I had talked about the video. We talked about the difference between the two signs. It is hard to know what it is like to be blind if one has never been blind, however, we can all relate to having a good day, or the day outside being beautiful. When we can relate to something with someone we can have a connection with them. Once we have made that connection we can feel for someone. This is how we make friends. This morning I had to make that connection with my son, I had to relate to him. I told him that he could daven on my phone with the davening video I found online. (For those who like a “cleaner” YouTube and not have the suggested sites listed on the side, try loading up this YouTube Sanitizer and entering the following link the box: )

rabbi_lau_signingOff he ran to get his clothes. A few minutes later, all dressed with tzitzis, he was ready. He even waited patiently while another brother was finishing his reading on my phone! I then sat him down. He paused the davening to go grab his torah when it was time to sing Torah Tzivah Lanu Moshe, as well Little Torah. After sitting intently and listening, he watched the entire thing all over again. And yet again! I told him in the middle of the third time that that was it for the day. 🙂

I really can’t complain about it. It does not matter what path we take, the goal was achieved. Change your words, change your world. It might not be how I wanted it, but when I see him listening to intently and enjoying everything, I remind myself that is what I want – I want them to enjoy living, Hashem, and love doing His mitzvos. The goal was not to do it my way, the goal was to get him to daven – and to enjoy it. My way was not going to achieve this goal. I changed, I made that connection with him and the goal was achieved.
Now, on to start the rest of the day.

2 thoughts on “Post-Purim-Pre-Pesach!”

  1. I will surely show the video to my kids. We also have good day/bad day issues, and gratitude/appreciation issues, and it is a nice way to see that how you say it makes a difference, in addition to feeling what others feel.

    1. Hello Ilana,

      I try to ask the children several times a week what they are thankful for. I like it when someone says they are thankful for something big as well as the person who chose something small, such as they are thankful for their brother being ticklish. At first it was hard for the boys to come up with something, but now they usually can find something quite quickly.

      I see how things are for me when I reword something or change how I look at something and I hope that with persistence I can help my boys out. It is not always easy, for since they are still quite inexperienced in the world (even with my oldest being 12), it sometimes requires me to be very creative in trying to find something they can connect with for without that connection it will not mean a thing to them. So, we keep trying!

      Good luck over there and if you happen to stumble upon something that works well with you, I would love for you to share it with me! 🙂


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